real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
