i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
