When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pants are for mortals
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
