I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize