he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
