I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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