I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
