hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
