I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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