i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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