the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
