update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
