worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
