Nicole vs. Life
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
