why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
