It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
