You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
