so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
