I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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