lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize