I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
