alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
