I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
