my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
