Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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