I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
