i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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