So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize