Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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