Yo dont text me then not text me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
