You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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