On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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