Apparently you make a good broom.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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