strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
