wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
