smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize