I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i think my cat just said my name.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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