I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
