16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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