Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
