U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize