i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
