If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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