Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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