It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
