did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
