All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
