she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
