For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize