Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
