Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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