I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
