Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I need to stop coming to work sober
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
