Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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