We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
