Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
