I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize