Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
