who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You may now shotgun with the bride
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
