Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
