yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
