i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
