Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
